Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Great Leap Forward
Brave and bold voices of moderation like Bolt, Devine, Akerman and Albrechtson - the spokespeople for the voiceless - have been hounded from journalism, leaving The People unrepresented in a New World Order governed by latte-quaffing, tertiary educated goons who each day bring down the jackboot of elitism on the face of the Oi Oi Oi.
A new strain of journalism has been imposed under this new regime, one that minimises the use of unnamed sources, messes up good yarns with context and background and insists on the immediate fixing of mistakes and the prominent publication of apologies and corrections.
"The right to stir and slur with impunity has been trampled upon by the imposition of professionalism," said a jaded former News Ltd columnist, now relegated to running the spell check on the subs' backbench. "Rupert will be spinning in his grave."
Except Rupert is not dead. Now approaching 90, his hair a shade of aubergine and his skin a shade of flakey papyrus, Murdoch The Elder lays strangely silenced in his Park Avenue apartment, surrounded by heavily armed journalism professors - stymieing his instinctive attempts to boldly split his infinitives and expose the norks of nubile 19-year-old girls.
The Murdoch empire is now under the control of the oldest son, Lachlan, who in his typically metrosexual way has capitulated to the new regime and appointed a fascist coterie of former bloggers to his editorships - all of them beard-stroking, Barthes-quoting intellectuals who insist that published bylines give way to subtle iterations of the "implied author" and post-structuralist discourses that identify signifiers in Question Time analysis. Not even the Rugby League and AFL back-pages are safe, their editorships given over to analysis of Queer Theory and the deconstruction of the sexocratic social order.
"This all comes from Finkelstein," said one former press gallery member, now working incognito in a Hume Highway fast-food franchise and smuggling out precious analysis of internal ructions within the ALP to a public readership starved of idle and unsourced speculation. "We warned them that forcing newspapers to prominently publish corrections was the thin end of the wedge. And here we are, with the professors in charge - cracking down on misplaced modifiers and throwing passive case authors into solitary confinement."
Attempts to overthrow the autocratic regime have been thwarted by a ruthless secret police cadre created by the government's communications minister, Major General Grogs Gamut - a former blogger and now vainglorious enforcer who insists he be represented at every state occasion by Ralph Fiennes as Coriolanus.
To his left is Mr Denmore, an obscure blogger and traitor, who has bought himself a place in the regime as editor-in-chief, interviewing himself and routinely launching gagging writs to silence his many critics.
"It's the one link with the past," said one former press gallery journalist. "Having an editor who hides behind defamation law to suppress public debate is something that keeps former traditions alive."
Thank heavens for small mercies.
Posted by Mr D at 6:17 PM